If you think that people with charisma are just “born with it” If you think people who influence others or tell captivating stories are spontaneous and it just “comes naturally” to them, then you are going to want to listen to today’s episode of LOVE Life. Not only am I going to dispel this myth once and for all based on my own experience, I am going to give you a set of free, downloadable tools you can use to learn how to develop these skills for yourself. Hint: It includes a shocking expose written about me by my brother Stephen AND a secret screenshot of my iPad. Curious yet???.
Norway. Health. After you break up with your ex (unless you flee to another state or get an entirely new group of friends) chances are good you’ll run into him again. So let’s get you prepared for this inevitability. I’ll be honest – there’s no way it won’t be awkward, but if you get yourself in the right state of mind, it will be a lot less awkward.
I’ll even give you a line to say to your ex that will immediately break the tension and make you both laugh. Think of this episode like a mini-survival guide; Use my advice and you may even leave the interaction feeling better about your breakup, and yourself, than before.
The Man Myth Matthew Hussey Free Ebook. Confidence Secrets Matthew Hussey. Attraction Triggers to Get a Man. So, if you’re not too fussy about what kind of guy you’d like to go out with and you have an army of proactive and supportive single friends, then I think the Matthew Hussey method could get you some amazing results. May 6, 2013 - About 8 months ago I signed up for Matthew Hussey's Man Myth videos. For the past few months I've been following his advice and thinking a.
Ok let’s answer this age-old question once and for all: Do men prefer women who are “hard to get,” or do they just want a woman who will take control and be the aggressor? The answer is – drumroll please – NEITHER! In this episode, I explain what “Men live for the ‘Maybe’” means, and tell you how you can attract the guy you’re interested in and challenge him to pursue you.
In other words, you get to do the choosing, while he does the chasing. Hey, looks like the answer to that age-old question isn’t “neither,” but “BOTH,” after all.;). You love him. You want to be with only him. But he wants to keep his options open.
He knows how much it hurts you that he can’t give you the commitment you want, so why does he stay in touch and keep stringing you along? The reason is simple. What you need to do about it, well, that’s the hard part. In today’s LOVE Life, I take a call from a young woman named Julia who’s in this painful situation.
I explain what’s going on in his head and tell her how to respond. If you, too, have ever found yourself holding onto hope that a man will give you more because he’s not kind enough to let you go, don’t miss this episode. Is it wise to date a guy who just got out of a relationship?
How can you know if he’s actually ready to get serious with you now or if he’s still too hurt from the past? Actually, I can’t answer that for you but HE can. Grab a pen, because in today’s episode, I’m going to give you 3 questions you can ask Mr. Recently Single to uncover his true feelings about his breakup and reveal what’s in store for you if you get involved with him now. I also give you an important warning and my #1 tip for protecting your heart while his heals.
We all have insecurities about qualities we don’t have. Sometimes, gaining confidence is simply a matter of appreciating the other amazing qualities we do have. But today I want to share an even BIGGER secret to overcoming feelings of inadequacy about the things you want most, but lack.
It begins with a simple mindset, and only takes one belief to become a reality. Before you tell yourself you can’t do something or put a negative label on yourself, please listen to this episode. It’s never too late. Recently, I picked up an iconic book for the first time that you likely read in your youth. (You’ll have to listen to this episode to find out what it is.) In this book, and the actions of its famous main character, I uncovered one of the most important life lessons that I also teach in my live seminars.
I want to share it with you today because it’s a quick illustration of exactly what to do when you’re feeling low, abandoned or depressed and gives you the secret recipe for overcoming weakness any time you feel it taking over. So grab a glass of wine and join our own (5-minute) mini book club for two! See that handsome guy over there across the bar? He actually wants to approach you. But he’s way too terrified of being rejected to take a shot in the dark. He needs the right signals from you to make his move. In today’s episode of LOVE Life, I’m sharing 3 tips you can use tonight that make you instantly more approachable, along with a fascinating little fact about men that will literally change the way you look at them forever.
Have a listen But be warned, you may have to start turning the men away! I’m going to let you in on a secret: Men desperately want to feel like real men. Even though we proudly use “product” in our hair and aren’t ashamed to cry at Pixar films, there’s still a part of us that loves it when our masculinity is validated by the women in our lives. So today I’m handing you 3 shockingly simple compliments you can give to your guy that will make him feel amazing around you. Say them cheekily, say them sweetly, it doesn’t matter – as long as you say them – and watch as he swells with pride and affection for you.
(Yes, we really are that simple sometimes.). We all understand by now what “Late-Night Booty Call Guy” wants from you. But today we’re looking at a species with a different, much more confusing motive: “Man Who Just Wants to Cuddle.” What is really going on here? Does he want a girlfriend, or just a warm body to keep him company?
I take a call from a brave woman named Nicky who admits she’s in this baffling situation with a man she really likes, and I give her advice on how to confront him and find out what he’s really after. Because if he literally wants to “Netflix and Chill,” that’s wasting her time when she could be out there finding someone who wants to cuddle but only after the kind of intimacy that happens in a real relationship. In today’s episode I take a question from a listener named Ashley, who believes that she’s doing all the right things to meet men, but can’t seem to understand why guys aren’t approaching her or asking her out.
The bad news? She actually does need to make more of an effort than she realizes. The amazing news? She is actually only one millimeter off from meeting more men than she could possibly know what to do with! It only takes a tiny adjustment in what she’s (and probably you’re) doing right now. I explain exactly how to make this shift and even give you the cutest phrase you can use on a guy you like – stolen right from my own real-life story!
As a business owner who oversees a large team, I’m always striving to improve my skills as a manager. But, let’s face it: even when I’m in “boss mode,” I never really take my “relationship coach” hat off. So, the other day, when I was utilizing a management technique designed to give constructive criticism to staff while still inspiring them to do their best, it occurred to me – this technique would work wonders with a romantic partner, too! In today’s episode of LOVE Life, I’m going to share this simple, two-step technique that will help you communicate better with your man when you want to let him know you’re unhappy with his behavior– and get better results, every time.
I’m never too proud to use a personal anecdote to illustrate my point, even when the experience was a near-disaster. So, if for no other reason than you’re curious to hear the story of my failed TV show and the moment that a nasty contestant tried to tear my credibility to shreds in front of a live studio audience, you should check out this episode. But you should stay for my advice, because I’m going to use my own example to show you how to step into your personal power and control any tense situation without taking on anyone else’s negative energy. It’s my ultimate secret to having impact, and I’m sharing it with you today. Our caller, Halima, is worried. She’s got a huge crush on a guy at work.
And while that situation brings all of its usual complications – what if she makes her feelings known and gets rejectedand then it’s awkward in the lunchroom? What if they end up dating but it doesn’t work out, and then he’s ‘the guy at work that dumped her?’ – she’s got an even bigger concern: She wants a relationship but is concerned he’s just after a ‘hook up.’ In today’s LOVE Life, I break down the situation, help her figure out how to read his signals, and decide whether it’s worth her putting in the “work” to make it happen (pun intended);). I made a colossal mistake the other day on national television. Want to hear the embarrassing story?
I’ll tell you in this episode. Not just because I’ve gotten good at laughing at myself for moments like this (though I have – and that’s one of the lessons here), but because it will teach you 3 crucial things to spare you from hurt next time you make a mistake. (Which you will. Because you’re human.) And how do you deal when other people think you’re a screw-up? I give you one amazing piece of advice on how to prove them wrong. There are few things in life that hurt worse than loving someone who doesn’t love you back.
It can make you question your own value: If someone I hold in such high esteem doesn’t think I’m worthy of a relationship with him, then something must really be wrong with me. In today’s LOVE Life, I’ll help you understand why this isn’t true, and we’ll take a look at some of the real reasons why it didn’t work out. I’ll also give you my best advice on what to do while your heart is healing and how to know for sure when the right person for you comes along.
It’s Saturday at 11:45 a.m., and I’m one of 330 women who’ve come to the ballroom of the Renaissance Hotel in downtown Toronto to receive the wisdom of love and relationship guru Matthew Hussey. The New York Times bestselling author of is in Toronto, one of three Canadian stops, to offer up his “secrets to attracting, keeping and understanding men.” It’s a bold move, really, to proclaim there’s a kind of secret key-code for winning the game of love, but the lure proves effective.
The “ballroom,” which is really a corporate conference room, is packed with women (and one lone man in his late 50s). The women are a diverse mix of ages and ethnicities; some are in the smooth-skinned prime of their early 20s, while others are well into their worldly wise 30s, 40s and even 50s. (Photo: Matthew Hussey/Facebook) There’s a DJ playing music at what feels like a p.m. Volume to my Saturday morning ears, and the event staff, clad in pink Hussey Ts, are dancing in the kind of “Where my girls at?” atmosphere that Hussey cultivates in these seminars, which he runs all over the world. For all the party atmosphere, however, the crowd seems oddly dispirited.
These ladies seem tired, as if they’ve been working back-to-back double shifts for weeks. That exhaustion may account for the carb-loading—the sandwich-snarfing and cheese-and-cracker eating—that I see all around me. It’s as if they’re preparing for a marathon. Noonish: Hussey appears to a hooting standing ovation. The 27-year-old is dressed in a sharp dark sport jacket, a skinny tie and dark denim. Athletic, British and WB-handsome, he’s a bouncing ball of energy. He’s cute and flirty and Scientology-intense.
His presence has an immediate leavening affect on the crowd. One of his first pronouncements sends a delighted ripple through the audience. “Love,” he says. It’s such shit.
It really is the worst thing ever.” Know what else is shit? The advice most women are given when it comes to love and sex, he says. Make the first move. Don’t make the first move.
It’s all a bunch of conflicting contradictory crap, he suggests. So, what’s Hussey offering in exchange for dumping your Cosmo subscription? The secret to attracting the guy you want, according to Hussey, lies in building both your “core confidence” and your “dating competence.” I hear a lot of mmms and uh-huhs around me as he reveals his “secret” to attraction, and I can’t decide whether the audience is enlightened by the insight or just affirming that yes, they too believe this to be true, which makes me think Hussey isn’t really offering much in the way of anything new.
The idea that confidence is attractive sounds pretty familiar—the kind of thing my mother and grandmother drilled into me as a child. The only novelty seems to be that the old chestnut is coming out of the mouth of a cute British guy in a stylish jacket, which he later removes, along with his tie, to howls of approval. “Take your shirt off,” hollers one bold soul from her seat. Hussey eats it up. 12:53 p.m.: Fifty-three minutes into our eight-hour journey, Hussey lets another secret fly—this one is a doozy. There will be no breaks for lunch or anything today, Hussey declares. I swallow an expletive.
Perhaps to soften the blow, he cues the DJ to pump up the music and commands the audience to stand up and dance. It’s the first of many dance breaks we will take. I don’t want to dance. I bolt for the bathroom.
Eight hours without a break? Hussey may proclaim to know a lot about the male mind, but his knowledge of the female bladder is sorely lacking. I can’t help but think it’s a bad sign. Time drags slowly on I think it’s 1:30 p.m. But I’m afraid to look at my phone to check for fear that it’s only 12:55. The seminar is loosely organized around the idea of being confident and being a more competent dater. He focuses mainly on the latter and urges us to become either “moths” or “flames” to get what we want, an extended analogy that boils down to: get out there and meet some men, honey, and if you can’t be exciting and fun then hang around people who are (or “hubs”).
There’s another dance break. I don’t dance, but I smile encouragingly at those that do. One of the event staff scowls disapprovingly. “It’s OK to have fun you know.” “I know,” I answer. “But I’m OK to be me.” She’s not impressed with my core confidence. Tick-tock It’s only two o’clock.
Hussey has two volunteers onstage. He’s teaching them how to flirt at a bar, and he’s pretty darn flirty himself, kissing and hugging and nudge-nudge wink-winking them into submission.
For all the theatrics and touchy-feely stuff, the advice is pretty standard. Make eye contact. Look like you’re having fun. I feel like my grandmother could co-author his next book. An hour later Now Hussey gets really specific about how to chat up a guy.
He offers what he perceives to be foolproof scripts: for example, if you’re at a restaurant and see someone you like, you could break the ice with “What did you order? It looks so good.” If someone yawns, why not try “Long day?” as an opener. It’s worked on him, he shares. The audience is in thrall. I start to wonder if the real appeal of this seminar is being around the charismatic Hussey; if he’s the “guy” we get out of his program.
Eventually Hussey offers his advanced flirty patter, which is downright peculiar. My personal favourite is, “Oh my god, I love that tie. Stay away from me. I’m obsessed with ties.” “You look up to no good” is another gem we’re told to commit to memory.
It’s closing in on 3:30-ish, and my butt is numb Hussey calls for another dance break. I head for the bathroom again. 10 minutes later The oddly disjointed patter continues. Hussey talks about how most women don’t want to wind up with the nice guy or the “sexy dick,” but rather a hybrid of both, which he defines as a “good man with an edge.” He doesn’t go into too much detail about who that guy is and where he hangs out or how to spot him in a crowd of “sexy dicks,” but in a way he doesn’t need to.
We all know who he’s thinking about. He is the very pattern of the ideal he’s selling. Hussey breaks down the four components of attraction, an hour or two of patter that could be summed up in the following directions: carry yourself with confidence; be fun; be flirty; be “feminine.” He offers some examples of “feminine” chat-up lines. The greatest compliment a man can receive, according to Hussey, and a veritable jockey-remover, is: “I feel so safe with you.” Another: “I love how masculine you are.” “This shit works,” he proclaims with curiously personal conviction. (Photo: Matthew Hussey/Facebook) God, it’s only 4:30 He urges us to assume attraction, and by doing so we will be attractive. I feel like we covered this a lot earlier.
I am starving. Rihanna’s “We Found Love” blares.
Fuck it, I dance. Not because Hussey and his foot soldiers want me to, but because my butt is numb and I love this song! Most powerful insight I glean from the day: I need to dance more. And by the joyful expressions on the faces of the tired women around me, I think they’re feeling the same thing. Almost 5: My attention is waning, but Hussey is just getting into the nitty-gritty of his program. He’s also now just wearing a T-shirt and jeans and is sweaty from his own feverish dancing. He wants women to stop taking shit from jerks and to be more sensible in love.
For example, don’t give more than you’re getting, he advises. Unrequited love is “masochism,” he says, preaching to the choir. And he says don’t labour under the illusion that a guy can absolve you of your hang-ups; in fact, he’ll only magnify them. Tell me something I don’t know, Matt. 5:10-ish: Dance break. I wobble in my heavy winter boots unconvincingly. I’m tired, and it’s hot in this dank room.
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Even the dancing starts to feel redundant. A woman next to me fans herself with her notepad. I notice that the notepad is blank. 5:30-ish It’s the big emotional climax of the event. We’re instructed to stand up and close our eyes. He urges us to let go of whatever or whoever is holding us back, because “this is our year.” An emotional soundtrack plays—I can’t pick out the music but I know I’ve heard it before. Another dance break.
It’s only 5:53 p.m? After the emotional climax and the dance and more personal anecdotes about how he turned failure into confidence, Hussey cues up a video. I wonder what we’re going to learn from this. A few seconds in and I realize it’s a commercial for his week-long retreat on—you got it—core confidence, which he’s touted as the secret to attracting basically everything good in life all day without ever really telling us how to achieve it. The price tag for the retreat: $4,000. The video ends and Hussey goes into sales pitch mode.
This course is amazing, he says. One 40-year-old woman got married and had a baby after doing it, which is the modern woman’s Cinderella story. He even shows us a picture of her and her husband and children to prove it. Sincere or not, it feels like a manipulation. It doesn’t sit right. I swallow a few more expletives. Is it 6:30 yet?
Hussey announces that he’s distributing applications for his pricey retreat, which we’re told we can’t afford not to take. It’s here, at the precise point that the seminar turns into a shameless sales pitch for his retreat, that I bail, and so does a quarter of the audience. We’ve spent our precious Saturday with a charming, WB-handsome love guru with an agenda, and we’re really tired, really hungry and really looking forward to watching some TV. We “got” this guy, and we are happy to leave him behind.